Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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