i don't like sucking hair
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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