I think i sorta joined a cult last night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
