I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
