If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
