wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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