I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
