R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
