with your own penis?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
