Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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