To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize