I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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