I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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