hotel room ftw
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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