it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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