I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
