they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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