How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
