I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
