I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
