Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
