i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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