Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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