He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Even my vagina gasped.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
