Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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