Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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