is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
