You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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