She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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