Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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