My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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