my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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