Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
