I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize