hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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