Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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