A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
