I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
