i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
