talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
