You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
