she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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