i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
