Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
