hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
