So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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