Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
