just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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