Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
