Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
