I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish my penis had a tongue
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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