we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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