He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
