my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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