I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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