even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize