I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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