Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
