he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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