i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
