You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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