$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just cropdusted the office
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
