Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
