but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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