Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Me too!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
