so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
