i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
