Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
false alarm, still single
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
