I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
