So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
