we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
