but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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